It can be.
If we're just sounding off or taking the opportunity to leave other people devastated, it's not. It can destroy our relationships and leave us feeling worse.
But there is a place for anger with a purpose.
Anger is the electric charge. The outcome is the professional you, expressing your dissatisfaction, focusing on the behaviour, asking for action simply and clearly.
'That phone is very distracting, please turn it to silent now.'
'I've noticed that you have been late to our meetings several times. Please make sure you are on time from now on.'
Expressing anger with a purpose is good for your health. An alternative is rumination - going over and over the causes of your anger. Nothing prolongs stress like rumination.
Fed up with working from home during the pandemic? Was it daunting to learn how to use Zoom or Microsoft Teams? Is it now more challenging to manage the competing demands of work and family?
Here's another way of looking at the same events.
It's a chance to show how well you can adapt to challenges.
Do it well and you can add it to your list of stories to tell next time you go for promotion or apply for another job.
Treat every challenging experience as an opportunity to add to your collection of stories you can tell in 30 seconds. Keep notes and include the frustrations, the doubts, anxieties so that you can acknowledge them briefly at the beginning of the stories when you tell them. That's being authentic and your ability to overcome those natural feelings is all the more admirable.
Your future interview panel is likely to ask: 'Tell us about a time when you faced a major challenge' or 'Tell us about a time you had to show that you could work independently/gave excellent customer service/managed competing demands'. You get the picture.
It's called 'behavioural event interviewing' and it's based on the idea that past performance predicts future performance. It's very common. Flawed, but common.
Behavioural event interviewing also tests a candidate's ability to remember relevant examples while stressed. Unless you record and prepare your stories, your best responses may be in the car on the way home.
Your technical or academic qualifications may get you the interview, but the stories that prove your so-called soft skills will set you apart from the other candidates.
Take out your CV and add a table with two columns. On the left write the skills you have. On the right, provide the evidence - refer to the stories you can tell (in headline form).
Treat your collection 30 second stories as a reminder for you and an invitation to your interview panel to ask you about them. The day before the interview, prepare to tell more if the interviewers probe - as they should.
Be specific. The panel won't be impressed by bland assurances that you coped well working from home or managed a difficult conversation. The notes you made will help you list the details of what you did, what you said, how adaptable you were. Prepare to paint a verbal picture.
When those interviewers ask, 'Tell us about a time you...', you'll be thinking to yourself, 'Thank you for asking'. It beats a long silence while you search your memory for something to fill it.
Encourage those who report to you to be looking for stories to add to their CVs.
Would you be encouraging them to leave? No. You're encouraging them to stay, to develop their careers while they are with you. That beats leaving early because the work seems overwhelming or unrewarding.
Collecting stories is affirming and gives a sense of purpose to the work we do.