So you’ve been burned on social media or maybe had an earful from an angry customer or colleague.

You know  they are wrong and you’re tempted to respond with a satisfying reply. It won’t be satisfying for long.

Instead try this...

Cultivate your reputation as a consumate professional. No matter what happens. No matter how unreasonalbe, unfair, irrational or insulting others may be, remain calm, reasonable and show your fundamental respect for the other person – even a troll. Focus on the issue, never the person.

It’s what star performers do. Almost always, it’s their people skills, not their technical skills, that mark them out.

Even if your experience was humiliating, the people around you will probably remember your calm response. Lose your rag, and they'll certainly remember that - long after they've forgotten what it was about.

A crisis?

Be the team member or leader who calmly asks, ‘Okay what are our options?’ Help the others brainstorm strategies, then a plan. Help them implement the plan and stick to it. Help them see the crisis as a challenge that will look great on their CVs. Be the one who helps to keep the team relationships strong. (That combination comes from extensive research and field-testing.)

By the way…

Staying cool under pressure, not acting out our frustrations, anger or tension is healthy.

The objective evidence doesn’t support the old idea that we should let emotions out like steam from a pot. The consumate professional approach is the equivalent of turning the element off.

You’ll feel calm sooner, feel good about your professional response and build your confidence and skills for next time.